1. Chuck Bartowski- Chuck
o He’s a spy…seriously, how cool is that?
o He lives an adventurous life, going on missions at least once a week,
o Has a great best friend, a cool sister and an “Awesome” brother in law
o Also, let’s look at some of the women he has been with:
§ Sarah played by the gorgeous Yvonne Strahovski
§ Lou played by OC hottie Rachel Bilson
§ Jill played by the “Fast and Furious”’s Jordana Brewster
§ Most recently Hannah, played by Kristin Kruek who is so damn beautiful it makes head hurt…and that is not a double entendre….or is it?
2. Peter Petrelli- Heroes (Season 1)
o He’s got the best super hero ability, he absorbs the abilities of those around him…of course that would have to mean that others have supernatural powers
o He’s a good guy, selfless, rarely looks out for himself and loyal to a fault
o He is a man of action and understands responsibility and thrives in situations where he has the most on his shoulders
o Only reason he’s number 2 is that he does not seem to have much of a love life and that is too much like me for fictional character switcheroo
3. Tommy Carcetti- The Wire
o One of the most inspiring characters I have ever seen on TV
o It is not often that you see a politician as a man of the people, but Carcetti really is and probably cares too much for his own good
o He cares about his city and the people in it and his is sick and tired of inaction and corruption and is intent on changing things
o He has this intense confidence about himself all the while doubting himself in the process
o Moves from City Councilman where he takes on the Police Commissioner to Mayor to Governor in four years and does so in a clean manner
o Honestly, Carcetti is just one of the coolest, most admirable people and the fact that he is a politician lets you know that he is definitely a fictional character
4. Michael Corleone- The Godfather
o Do I even have to explain this one?
o Easily the coolest guy on this countdown
o Had the heads of the other families whacked while his son was being baptized
o Smart guy, who keeps his head and waits out a situation to make sure it is “taken care of” correctly
o Ruthless, but loves his family
5. Brian Griffin- Family Guy
o First of all, we all know how much I love dogs so Brian has to be on this countdown
o He is the guy I want to be, but in dog form: Smart, Witty, Liberal and has published a novel…although mine won’t be as bad as “Faster than the Speed of Love”
o Slept with Lauren Conrad and Jillian, both very hot for cartoon characters
o He is basically the voice of reason in an otherwise crazy house
o …he gets to hang out with Stewie all of the time and getting hammered and going trips with a baby is just the kind of life I want to live
6. Dexter Morgan- Dexter
o I would love to kill the scum of the earth and get away with it, the only reason I don’t is because I know I’ll get caught and I really don’t like jail…it’s scary
o With me, it’s what you see is what you get and I think it would be a lot of fun to have this whole other side to me that no one knew about
o He is this righteous crusader for the innocent victims and is still a good husband, a good father, a good brother and a good friend
o Basically, Dexter is the man and that cannot be questioned
7. Peter Bretter- Forgetting Sarah Marshall
o Plain and simple here…Rachel Jansen played by my future wife, Mila Kunis after I have gone all Dexter on McCaulay Culkin
o I would love to be nude in front of Mila Kunis
o Also he is a great piano player and that is something I wave always wanted to learn how to play
o Successful playwright with his Dracula Musical and I would get to spend a few days in the Kapua suite in Hawaii
8. Gob Bluth- Arrested Development
o Badass magician who rocks out to The Final Countdown during every performance
o Has this overwhelming sense of entitlement, yet has done nothing to deserve it…my kind of guy
o Has that awesome scratchy voice and has released an album with his dummy Franklin
o Has been president of the Bluth company and is just too stupid to no that he is no good…ah, to be that oblivious to my faults, that’s the real attraction here
9. Dr. Cox- Scrubs
o Very intelligent guy, ultra confident, but at the same time he is, as he puts it, “a self-hating narcissist who drinks”
o Takes no BS and has no time for it or any games that people want to play
o His one concern is about the well being of the patients and making those who want to be doctors better
o He may be angry most of the time, but he loves his kids and his ex-wife and loves his job, although the burden of being so great is sometimes too much for him
10. Michael Scott- The Office
o I would love to think that everybody likes me even when people so clearly do not
o He has a great attitude towards life and rarely does he mistreat people other than Toby…but who are kidding, Toby sucks
o He has that “so dumb, he’s smart” quality about him and that lack of intelligence leads him to worry a lot less about life and that is something I truly envy
o All he wants are friendship and love and he gives both of those back unconditionally…he is basically a dog who can talk
11. Buddy the Elf- Elf
o I get wrapped up enough in the Christmas spirit when it comes around, but to be so unbelievably happy and so uninformed about the ills of the world makes me jealous
o He is so naïve and because of that his innocence leads to good things
o Also, Jovie is hot (Zooey Deschenal as a blonde..yeah, sign me up)
o Plus I would get to live at the North Pole and hang out with penguins and narwhals and snowmen…that would rock
12. Linus Van Pelt- Peanuts
o He is what everybody looks to during the holidays for that one moment when he explains what Christmas is all about
o He is an icon and has been a child for about 70 years, I would love to stay a kid that long… I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the pressures of being an adult
o Also, it doesn’t seem like there are too many authority figures around and that suits me just fine
13. Eric Foreman- That 70s Show
o Funny, witty, sarcastic guy who has a hot girlfriend that lives 20 feet away and can come over any time…sounds alright to me
o Has a very close group of friends that would do anything for him and vice versa
o Leads an interesting yet ordinary life and just seems like a cool time to live in, but who knows… the 70s were awfully hairy
Honorable Mentions
· Barney Stinson
· Omar Little
· Wolverine
· Benny The Jet Rodriguez
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